Poets and authors have tried to define love for centuries, but scientists have only recently started. Many believe love is a sensation that magically generates when Mr. or Ms. Right appears. True love is the definition of a perfect romance. But it is not easy to find.
True love is not felt in a heartbeat or in a second glance. True love takes time to take shape. And contrary to popular belief, love at first sight is not really love at all. In fact, love at first sight is nothing but an infatuation. It is a strong surge of romantic and sexual emotions that overwhelm you. What you really need to understand is that it is very important to take things slow in a relationship if you want to ensure its success.
When you first start dating someone or fall for someone at first sight, what you experience is not love. As much as you feel like you are head over heels in love, you really are not. You are just experiencing the first stage of love, a small part in the stages of love known as the infatuation stage.
What is true love then? True love, ironically, can’t be defined. It is the kind of love many of us chase after, but few truly find or realize it until it is too late. So what is true love really?
True love is the kind of love and affection you have for someone that is not bound by the laws of human behavior. Human behavior is simple to understand. When someone hurts you, you get angry with them. When someone gets lucky or gets a better job, you get jealous of them. And when someone shatters your ego or humiliates you, you want your revenge. This is human behavior, because these traits are within us. But when you experience true love with someone, your primal instincts and behavior change only towards this person. True love transcends typical human behavior. It makes you a better human being towards a special someone
If you are in a relationship where both of you truly understand each other and feel compatible with each other, and most importantly, love each other, chances are, you are experiencing true love already.
Is true love a once in a lifetime experience? Not really. You can experience them many times over, and with many people at the same time. You can experience true love with your spouse or your lover, your children and any other person you are attached to in your life.
We are fearless in love and we love passionately with all our heart. But when the first romance dies, the true love we had for our first partner too eventually fades, even if it takes years and several new relationships to overcome. And as we enter more relationships, most of us split into two groups. One that believes in true romantic love and the other group that convinces itself that true love doesn’t exist. The kind of relationships you have had in your lifetime can play a big part in your understanding of, and expectations from, true love.
True love may be hard to define, but the signs to read true love can be clearly seen in every perfect loving relationship. EHC brings you a few signs of true love.
Give and take. You give to the relationship wholeheartedly, without any desire or expectations of getting something back in return from your partner to justify your actions.
Pure happiness. Just watching this special person smile or laugh out loud fills you with intense happiness, even if you are suffering or having a hard day.
Pain and anger. You get terribly hurt when your lover upsets you, but their actions never anger you. You may get annoyed or frustrated now and then momentarily, but you just can’t stay mad at them for long because staying mad or giving them the silent treatment hurts you more.
Sacrifice. You make sacrifices for their happiness or wellbeing, even if they may never realize it.
Great effort. You go to great lengths and make an effort to improve the relationship, and play a conscious part in trying to please your partner and make them feel loved and special.
Unable to hurt. When you are truly in love with someone, you can’t even imagine hurting them, emotionally or physically. Payback is a strong human instinct, but true love makes you completely selfless.
Keeping promises. When you make a promise to them, you stick to your word even if this person will never find out if you broke their promise. When you experience true love, your moral conscience becomes very strong when it comes to this one special person.
We. In a perfect relationship, it is good to have your own space to grow as individuals. But at the same time, if you truly love your partner, you would see them as a part of your life. When you think of your future, you can’t help but see them by your side.
Share their burden. And you do that even if you don’t really have to. You can’t bear to see this special someone suffering. If they are dealing with some issue, you are always willing to offer them a helping hand even when you have your own difficulties to look into.
Pride and jealousy. You beam with pride when they achieve something, even if it’s the same thing you failed at. You may get jealous of a friend who outdid you, but when you love someone, jealousy never enters the picture.
Their perspective. Everything you do, you keep your lover in mind and think from their perspective, be it about planning a surprise party or hanging out with your own friends after work. You don’t ever want to hurt your lover, so you always think from their point of view before making any decision that involves them in any way.
If you are in a relationship and not experiencing these true love signs, don’t fret. Take your time and test the waters. You can’t fall in love with someone by forcing yourself into the relationship. If it is not working out, try to understand each other better. And if nothing you do can bring happiness back into love, perhaps both of you would be better off dating other people.
But at the same time, if both of you are already happy in the relationship, don’t try to change anything about it. Sometimes, selfless and unconditional love takes time to materialize. Remember, you can’t push yourself into the next stage in love unless both of you are ready for it. It is only a matter of time before a happy romance goes the true love way.
Image courtesy: wallpaperswide.com
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