It is a fact that you sometimes end up telling lies to your kids to keep them away from junk foods, to keep inappropriate information away from them, or sometimes to keep them away from worrying truths.
Some lies you say, might end up doing good more than harm but there are some lies you say that do just the opposite. So the next time, you want to tell a lie to your kid, be aware that your lying can directly influence how honest they are or will be. Studies have shown that children get more confused and are inclined to lie if they are fed with lies by adults.
To have a parent-child relationship that is well-grounded and healthy, truthfulness has to prevail. Sometimes, you will not tell your kids the whole truth due to their age and the capability to understand, but there are some truths that you should choose to tell your kids and not lie.
Read on to know more:
1) Problems in the family
Seldom, we find people minus problems. Problems for some will be in the form of illness, for some in the form of finance, for some in the form of relationship, and for some in the form of job loss. Never lie to your kids on this. Be candid to your kids, be specific with the difficulty that is troubling your family, and tell them the truth. This difficult phase in the family must be explained to your kids and in a way that they understand. Once they understand the truth, your kids will support you emotionally and morally.
By doing this, you are instilling confidence, truthfulness, and the courage to face stressful situations in your kids.
2) Relationship problem
Of late, you and your spouse is going through a rough and stressful patch in relationship. This is inadvertently creating a stressful and accentuated situation at home. You lie to your kids about this, but your kids very well know that everything is not well. The more you try to cover up with lies, the deeper the problem goes. Be honest, whatever their age, tell them the truth, tell them everything will be fine as before, and work yourself towards patching up with each other and let happiness regain over.
By doing this, you are allowing them to be a part of a healthy relationship. As your kids grow, they will never take a hasty decision when something goes wrong for them.
3) Honor your Promise
Your kids take your words seriously. Your word means the world to them. So, promises you make to them should be honored. There are times, due to reasons not in your hands, you end up breaking the promise you made to them. If by chance, you break a promise, a sincere apology from you to them would go a long way in bonding your relationship with your kids. Their trust in you will be foolproof. If you lie to them and get caught later, your kids will completely lose faith in you and will not rely on you anymore.
By doing this, you are allowing your kids to learn to face difficult situations with honest approach.
4) Lies and Self-confidence
There are times when your kid might end up doing something wrong. To correct him, you tell a lie. You self-praise yourself by saying that as a child you were too perfect and you never did anything wrong that would have put your parents to shame. Chances are that your false claim of self-praise might impact your kid’s’ confidence level and it might also make him feel inferior to his peers, losing his self-confidence. Instead, tell him that he did a mistake, explain to him what the mistake was, and guide him with suggestions that will help him to keep away from committing mistakes.
By doing this, you are allowing your kid to look out for signals that could steer him away from doing something wrong or dangerous.
“We love your brother more than we love you.” Parents have a tendency to tell this statement to their kids, just for fun. This is a simple white lie. But this fun statement might end up having a far-reaching effect on your kid’s psyche. It might leave her broken heart for life and may also give rise to a more complex risk, sibling rivalry.
By doing this, you might be allowing your child to grow up with malice towards the siblings.
6) All is not well
Your child cannot be performing in tests or examinations at her peak level at all times. She might fail sometimes. In spite of her failure in test or examination, to keep her spirit’s high and not to hurt her, you might tell her that everything is fine, when it is not so. Refrain from doing this, it will allow your child to repeat this too often. So, don’t lie that everything is fine. Instead, guide her towards success by helping her understand what went wrong, how she could have fixed it, and also assure her of your unwavering support at all times.
By doing this, you are allowing your child to learn the art of learning from mistakes, rectifying it, and moving on with life.