Aren’t we a little confused here? This self-pleasure is supposed to be something you do by yourself, and if your partner is in the room, isn’t that just called having bedroom play? For your information self-play is also a form of sensual play, and sharing self-play with your partner, can be a wonderful way of sharing intimacy, and a great way to seek heights of pleasure. It can be a five minute starting or an entire evening of romance.
Mutual self-play is a great way to deal with differing sensual urges; you don’t both have to be in the mood at the same time. It helps you learn what your partner likes, and teach your partner what works for you. Talking about it and/or doing it in your partner’s presence can be a powerful way of sharing a new level of intimacy.
The first step to sharing self-play with a partner is getting comfortable in your own act. This may mean educating yourself about self-play myths, or exploring self-play more on your own first. You should be able to show, if not talk with your partner about what feels good, so give yourself time to figure it out first.
Don’t pressure yourself, or accept pressure from a partner, to explore mutual self-play. While mutual self play can be a great was to enhance your sensual life, it is also very intimate and showing and you should only do it when the time is right. If you are unsure about it, think about what smaller steps you can take to share self play with a partner.
Talk about it to your partner
Before you start, it is a good idea to talk about self- play with your partner. Even though most people continue to doing self- play while in relationships, many couples hide it in relationships. The conversation doesn’t need to be serious or heavy, and it could even start as more of a curiosity, sharing stories about when you first do self -play, or how you learned to do self- play.
Know it is very private
The first time you do self- play with someone else in the room it may feel weird. Most of us have a way we like to do it, and for most of us this includes feeling like we are alone and have some level of privacy.
One of the best things about self-play in front of your partner is the lessons learned about what make to sensually on. Each of you should get an opportunity to simply watch the other doing self play without any distractions. The first time you share it, if it feels awkward, you might agree in advance to take turns, one of you starting and doing self play until you are done, and then the other goes.
Mutual action postures
Once you are comfortable with mutual act in both theory and practice, it is time to mix it up and play with different postures and situations. Doing this can enhance the sensual response you get from self- play; it can also spark different fantasy scenarios, and lead to more learning for your partner.
Doing it each other
While most of us might think that a hands-off-each-other approach is what defines self play, dictionary definitions of mutual self-play usually include touching each other and there is no reason not to blur that line. This might include you focusing on another part of your partner’s body while they doing self- play, or you might be right in the center of the action.
Eye contact and talking
At the beginning, if you are uncomfortable with doing self play in front of your partner, making a lot of eye contact or talking might seem too intense. But if you find you enjoy mutual self -play and get more comfortable with it, adding eye contact and talking can take it to a different level. Gazing into each other’s eyes during any kind of sensual play can be intensely intimate and spicy.