It seems like men can be ready to have play, both mentally and physically, at the drop of a hat. This, however, usually isn’t the case with women. Women usually require more “warming up” before they are ready for play, both mentally and physically. If you want to better satisfy a woman in the bedroom, then you might need to tune up your fore play skills.
1. Try this great warm-up
The preplay massage: As a warm-up to the main event, start by massaging the length of her legs, from her upper thighs down to her ankles. Then focus on the feet, kneading her heels and all other points beneath. Then zero in on the toes and stretch them individually. Of course, if her impeccable hygiene encourages you to suck her toes, you’ll have her in ecstasy.
2. Ask what turns her on
Come right out and ask what she likes during act. “Most women appreciate men who want to make sure they’re satisfied,” says Barbara Bartlik, M.D., a professor of psychiatry at Cornell University. “If she notices you’re working hard to please her, she’ll be more likely to return the favor.” And tell us: Is there a better place to develop your work ethic?
3. Boost your fore play quotient
Improve the quality of fore play and she’ll never again bug you about the quantity. “If you act as if you’re just going through the motions to get to the act, she’s going to notice, and it will take longer for her to get excited,” says Michael Perry, Ph.D., a play therapist in Encino, California. So do what you want to do. If you like how her calves feel, stroke them. If you like her back, kiss it. “When a man is loving what he’s doing, it’s going to show through and turn her on, too,” says Perry.
4. Go easy
Yes, the stimulating organ is the obvious place to focus your attention. Still, many men do wrong by it. “Direct stimulation of the button can actually be painful,” says Cathy Winks, author of The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-spot. “It’s much better to rub the switch hood [where the tops of the labia meet] or to rub along the side of the button than it is to go straight for the head of it.” When playing with the botton during mouth play, Birch’s advice is to “focus on the button, then don’t focus on the button. The button reacts best to being teased, so you want to lick it and suck on it a little, build a little tension, then back off on it a bit before going at it again.”
5. Drive her wild with the ‘figure 8’ technique
The figure-8 tongue technique: When you’re at her service down below, work the supersensitive area around her button in a figure-8 pattern. Arouse her with gentle sucking until the little button swells, then carefully expose the area with your fingers. Use the slippery underside of your tongue to circle it to the left and then to the right. With the rougher top side of the tongue, flick from right to left and then up and down. Finally work up to figure 8s, alternating between your tongue’s smooth underside and firmer tip. Constantly vary the degrees of pressure you use.
6. Expand your repertoire
Expand your repertoire of oral stimulating with this method: You lie perpendicular to her body, which allows you to stroke her button with your tongue in a crosswise motion, rather than up and down. She’ll appreciate the change in stimulation — hopefully, enough to return the reward.
7. A Body Part You Shouldn’t Neglect
Oft overlooked as mere roadblocks to the female organ , the labia are packed with nerve endings and are not to be ignored. Hold each one between your thumb and forefinger and massage it, working your way up and down. Or, using all of your fingers and your palm, “smoosh” the labia together, almost like you’re (gently!) kneading dough.