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What Women really wants after an experience ?
Never go to sleep after entertainment, it gives a feeling that you come to your partner for yourself mean.
For men, deep entertainment is basically an external act that men can do without any emotional attachment or commitment. After an excitement, a man can go about his day’s business without another thought. But a deep relation for a woman means a lot more. The act of entertainment means that she is allowing a man to enter her body and most women are very particular about who they allow to do that. To the woman, it is a deeply personal act and it is important than men appreciate this. Most women need to feel an emotional connection to the man before they feel comfortable being sensual. They want to believe that contact means that the man really cares for them. She wants to believe that contact to him means more than just satisfying his ego or for his personal gratification without any regard for her afterward. Women want to enjoy love after relation.
After play: The best part of the relation
The deep act can be divided into three components: fore play, exact act, and after play.
Foreplay, about which volumes have been written, is the traditional lead-in to relation itself. Foreplay can last from minutes to hours, is limited primarily by imagination and creativity, and includes all activities that stimulate the act appetite for entertainment.
Act itself is what most people consider the pleasure of relation. However, what happens after intercourse can be just as meaningful emotionally and pleasurable physically. This post relation activity is known as “after play”.
Unfortunately, little has been written about after play. The definitive work on the subject is “After play: The Key to Intimacy” by James Halpern and Mark A. Sherman. In their study of 264 American men and women, they found that most people fall asleep within one hour after relation. They also found that men and women want the same things in after play, and that most members of both genders are not completely satisfied with their current after play. Also of note was the fact that the duration of post act touching was strongly correlated with how satisfied both men and women felt about their relationships.
Why it’s a secret to most
Why is there such a lack of after play and lack of satisfaction with after play? Two reasons: fatigue and ignorance. Fatigue occurs because pleasure is a parasympathetic nervous response, which means that it causes a deep feeling of relaxation. Sleep readily ensues, especially for the male. According to Nik Douglas and Penny Slinger in their book “sensual Secrets”, Eastern philosophy has a poetic explanation for why men fall asleep faster than women. Woman is likened to water “slow to come to a boil and slow to cool down afterward.” Man is equated to fire, in that he is “quickly ignited and speedily extinguished.”
Masters and Johnson recognized a physiologic basis for these gender differences. Women take longer time physiologically to come down from act than men do. Men’s heartbeat and breathing return to normal much more quickly, not to mention their obvious rapid loss of erection. Women’s bodies remain in that plateau after pleasure much longer. Ignorance of after play is common. Many people simply don’t realize that the intimate ambiance can continue after pleasure.
Some universal perspectives on how to enjoy it
How should you after play? That depends on you as a couple. Many people prefer cuddling and snuggling. Hair brushing, back scratching, massaging, and caressing are also popular. Just lying together, favoring the touch, sight, smell, and taste of each other can bring intense emotional satisfaction and ready lovers for another shared intimacy. To quote the fourth century Sanskrit love manual, the Kama Sutra, “When a woman is tired, she should place her forehead on that of her lover and should take rest, without disturbing the union of their organs. When she has rested herself, the man should turn around and begin to make love with her again. If lovers spend time playing and caressing each other at the end of their loving, then their pleasure and confidence increase. Love-play enhances pleasure.”
Whatever you do in after play should be fun. After all, after play is play. According to psycho therapist Dr. Shirley Zussman, “act should be fun, not a performance. In fact, the Eskimos (Inuits) call act the “laughing time.”
Dr. Michael Seiler emphasizes that couples’ after play should include some of the things that they enjoy and that brought them together in the first place, such as a bubble bath, sharing a glass of wine, or listening to music. Romantic, intimate conversation during after play can enhance the emotional aspects of relation and strengthen the bonds of the relationship, as can sharing an intimate laugh or joke. After play do’s and don’ts
It is important to remember that the time immediately after intercourse is a time of great vulnerability. If the act is fast, furious, and unfulfilling, the partners–especially the woman–may feel what Douglas and Slinger refer to as “post act depression.” This feeling of emptiness and resentment can be lessened by effective after play, especially with reassurance, embracing, and cuddling. If there was difficulty during act, the ensuing awkwardness or embarrassment can also be relieved by good after play.
In his book Secrets of Better act, Dr. Joel Block provides some “do’s and don’ts ” for enjoying after play
- Don’t use after play as a “sensual postmortem.”
- Don’t air sensual grievances or complaints.
- Do use this intimate time to express sensual feelings, thoughts, and desires that you’ve not previously shared.
- Don’t discuss problems with your job, your finances, or your children.
- Do cuddle and caress for at least five minutes.
- Do say “I love you’.”
- Do say you are so beautiful, you look so young
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